Kings from the East…. Part One….

October 2, 2008

There were three Kings into the east,

Three kings both bold and high,

And they have sworn a solemn oath,

Uncle Sam should die.





Grinning like a chimpanzee just extracted from a vat of caffeine, Mahmoud the Marionette, descendant of Armenian carpet sewers from a dusty, decaying Iranian outpost, moved front and centre at the UN last week. Most of the world, used to Mahmoud’s tirades, and sympathetic to any primate likely to have his hands cut off if he doesn’t tow the party line, listened little…

Not us, however. Our fascination with the Persian poison Dwarf reached crescendo level, when, instead of sending Mahmoud back east on his magic carpet, he was invited onto the Larry King show. Mr King, three stints in jail and five wives to the good, giving him a definite morality edge, proceeded to grill Mahmoud on his holocaust denial.. Yes, not Iran’s switch to Euros, or floating of US treasuries,,,,,,, on his holocaust denial……….

Most people who understand Sharia law, and it’s consequences, know that Mahmoud does as he’s instructed. No Mahdi he, Mahmoud is one of the wretched Persian pols artificially elevated to political office, on the condition that when his centre string is pulled, he nods.

And nod he does, Mahmoud’s jangling hands, reminiscent of a Tetley tea commercial, are only outdone by his gaudy sense of style. If I see Mahmoud in one more sallow-brown jacket, I’m gonna buy shares in Asian dye companies…

Our strange fascination with Mahmoud is ridiculous, he’s not a popular guy anywhere, even back in Tehran, and if he gets out of line, his handlers, the mullahs, will quickly dispatch him off to see the Twelfth Imam…

What the rest of the world realizes only to well, is that Mahmoud is a toy, a convincing realistic one, true, but, he’s not real….Only Americans take Mahmoud seriously…..

 This may seem amusing, but, not wishing to take a cynical turn  the rest of world also knows, Hank the Plank is not a marionette, you tell me who’s more dangerous…..….

 And follow the Adventures of the Wonderful Walrus Doctor at Word press


The Sounds of Silence.

October 1, 2008

Now there’s a tune, and , my favorite line “The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls, tenement halls……

Where I came from, we had neither, the words of the prophets, and, the conquests of local teenage boys were carved into trees, etched on gravestones…Sounds corny, but , it’s different in Alaska too.

In the land of the Snow Queen, frostbite comes quickly, so, no carving, just spray paint and underpasses. On one such underpass is sprayed, in blood red paint, “I did S.P, Oct 1982″….

Well, well, well… naughty Sarah, she must have skipped rice pudding that night, sneaking through the snow drifts with Todd the Rod, At least I’m assuming it was he, if it weren’t, some nasty, grease smelling oiler may be about to appear, claiming his prize.

So, all’s okay until the other night when I hear the Snow Queen, starchy as a matron, babbling on about the proximity of Russia to her state…. Of course, I thought, the Snow Queen’s right, P in Cyrillic is R, It wasn’t our Sarah gettin’ shafted under the bascule span, it must have been Hilary with a Russian boy !!!!!!!!!!

Whoa, Russia is soooooo close to Alaska, how dare they be sneakin’ in like that to plunder our virgins…We need Sarah and her Seal gun, she’ll give you twenty roubles for a rod…………

The Fall of Rome

September 29, 2008

The Fall of Rome.

Hank the Plank, former CEO of Goldman-Sachs, is attacking our new crisis with the ferocity of a pagan idol. Our Treasury secretary, applying all his Christian Science ethics, announced he’s gonna take a bazooka to the economy, no questions folks, just supply the bullets. Hank the Plank is about to become the largest land-owner since Charles V.

Meanwhile McCain, all thumbs uppy, grinning like a mump-inflicted gineau-pig, announced he’s needed in Rome to fix the problem, which is rather like apply bostik to a cloven skull, the assumption is he couldn’t send an e-mail.

Far away to the north, in the of land Santa, the Snow Queen, heartened by Hank’s mention of the bazooka, has learned a new word, maverick, repeated thrice to a news anchor during an interview. The Beauty Queen from a town of toothless nubiles, wolves and trawler deckhands, the women who’d give a buck for a scalp, now may be getting close to holding a bazooka.
More alarming is the video of the Bible-bashing Procurator attending a church service in which witches were exorcised from congregants by a Kenyan pastor. Hold on to you pants girls, circumsion’s next…..
Not to be out done by this Narrenshiff, Baracking Barack decends into our national urinal by announcing he’ll debate himself. Lecture the US population on the virtues of the common man. The senator from Illinois, author of three best selling books about himself, holds his nose in dignified delight, I told you so he grins, reaching for another Newport……
The fourth player in this farce, bumbling Biden, from the only state which endorses usury, is strangley silent, better to stay silent and be thought a fool, than to stand up and remove all doubt.

Is anybody else as concerned as I am. At least I still have residential rights in Europe….

The Anglo-Dutch Conspriracy.

September 29, 2008

Concerning the Anglo-Dutch Conspiracy.

Now Hank the Plank’s gonna get his dough and become our new Emperor, we can but hope he is deposed rapidly, that being said let’s examine how we got here…

Rainy days and Postal employees do not mix, our federal workers scurry like crabs in bad weather, hiding behind doors and windows, neglecting their duties……..

Exiting a small town Post Office this summer, I was accosted by short, owlish man, files under his arm. Normally moved on by the local constabulary, that day , he found, to his delight, no law enforcement in sight, no Postal workers to complain.

“Hello, sir,” he tipped his flat cap, “You do know about the Anglo-Dutch conspriracy, don’t you?”
Shaking my head dumbly, and casting a wary eye around, I bade him continue.
Thrusting a magazine in my hand he quickly explained, that, the world was about to end, and, it was all part of a conspiracy, the Anglo-Dutch conspiracy..
“But,” he assured me..”Dr La Rouche is fighting back…”
Apparently, La Rouche, who I thought was either dead or in jail, or both, had, during his last stint in stir produce an epic conspiratorial work, reminiscent of the Fuhrer’s in Landsberg, and his subject matter was the Anglo-Dutch, that’s right, Not Jews, blacks, commies or Catholics….

I took a copy of the magazine, leaving the man to stand his guard outside the Post office, I used the magazine to swat flies and thought nothing more of it until our Hank got his way today……

Hank’s monumental effort described in Europe as “An unfortunate victory for Anglo-Saxon consumerism and fiscal irresponsibility” got me thinking…..

I’m Anglo-Dutch, maybe we’ve ruined the world, but I think we’ll get away with it…Hell Hank can blame the French…Is La Rouche a French name????????

Hank gets a spank.

September 30, 2008

Hank the plank took his axe,

And gave the treasury forty whacks,

When our Hank saw whate he’d done,

He prepared to give the economy forty-one.


Hank the Plank, most vilified man in the US, now scurries and shuffles as his lastest bailout plan fails. Lucklessly searching for friends, our Hank, cell-phone glued to his ear, strides like a teutonic knight between Congress and the White House, What plan will our Christian Scientist come up with next……..

Whan Hank’s in front of the camera, he likes to emphasise the enormity of the problem. Rather than the wild gesticulations of House Republicans, Hank positions his arms in a semi-circle, rather like a bear hug. Yes, our Hank, is going to hug the economy.

In the Florida swamp, from whence he came, such behaviour may be acceptable, in fact generations of Paulsons probabaly sat around hugging each other, concealing their knives, or fifth aces up their shirt sleeves. A psychiatrist friend of mine noted that Hank’s motions smack of a “deeply disturbed” man, who, “needs to dominate and control his fellow man”.

Okay, so Hank the Plank is marching to the Capitol building under the pretence of “hugging” the economy, whilst his mind, writhing like a snake pit has other plans.

On the Hill Bumbling Bungo Bush, offering his kingdom for a horse, prepares to receive Hank, and his concealed fifth ace………..

Careful guys, a lot of wealthy people have, and are about to lose some serious shekels,,,

Could Hank’s fifth ace read “Martial Law”

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September 26, 2008

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