Archive for September, 2008

Hank gets a spank.

September 30, 2008

Hank the plank took his axe,

And gave the treasury forty whacks,

When our Hank saw whate he’d done,

He prepared to give the economy forty-one.


Hank the Plank, most vilified man in the US, now scurries and shuffles as his lastest bailout plan fails. Lucklessly searching for friends, our Hank, cell-phone glued to his ear, strides like a teutonic knight between Congress and the White House, What plan will our Christian Scientist come up with next……..

Whan Hank’s in front of the camera, he likes to emphasise the enormity of the problem. Rather than the wild gesticulations of House Republicans, Hank positions his arms in a semi-circle, rather like a bear hug. Yes, our Hank, is going to hug the economy.

In the Florida swamp, from whence he came, such behaviour may be acceptable, in fact generations of Paulsons probabaly sat around hugging each other, concealing their knives, or fifth aces up their shirt sleeves. A psychiatrist friend of mine noted that Hank’s motions smack of a “deeply disturbed” man, who, “needs to dominate and control his fellow man”.

Okay, so Hank the Plank is marching to the Capitol building under the pretence of “hugging” the economy, whilst his mind, writhing like a snake pit has other plans.

On the Hill Bumbling Bungo Bush, offering his kingdom for a horse, prepares to receive Hank, and his concealed fifth ace………..

Careful guys, a lot of wealthy people have, and are about to lose some serious shekels,,,

Could Hank’s fifth ace read “Martial Law”


The Fall of Rome

September 29, 2008

The Fall of Rome.

Hank the Plank, former CEO of Goldman-Sachs, is attacking our new crisis with the ferocity of a pagan idol. Our Treasury secretary, applying all his Christian Science ethics, announced he’s gonna take a bazooka to the economy, no questions folks, just supply the bullets. Hank the Plank is about to become the largest land-owner since Charles V.

Meanwhile McCain, all thumbs uppy, grinning like a mump-inflicted gineau-pig, announced he’s needed in Rome to fix the problem, which is rather like apply bostik to a cloven skull, the assumption is he couldn’t send an e-mail.

Far away to the north, in the of land Santa, the Snow Queen, heartened by Hank’s mention of the bazooka, has learned a new word, maverick, repeated thrice to a news anchor during an interview. The Beauty Queen from a town of toothless nubiles, wolves and trawler deckhands, the women who’d give a buck for a scalp, now may be getting close to holding a bazooka.
More alarming is the video of the Bible-bashing Procurator attending a church service in which witches were exorcised from congregants by a Kenyan pastor. Hold on to you pants girls, circumsion’s next…..
Not to be out done by this Narrenshiff, Baracking Barack decends into our national urinal by announcing he’ll debate himself. Lecture the US population on the virtues of the common man. The senator from Illinois, author of three best selling books about himself, holds his nose in dignified delight, I told you so he grins, reaching for another Newport……
The fourth player in this farce, bumbling Biden, from the only state which endorses usury, is strangley silent, better to stay silent and be thought a fool, than to stand up and remove all doubt.

Is anybody else as concerned as I am. At least I still have residential rights in Europe….

The Anglo-Dutch Conspriracy.

September 29, 2008

Concerning the Anglo-Dutch Conspiracy.

Now Hank the Plank’s gonna get his dough and become our new Emperor, we can but hope he is deposed rapidly, that being said let’s examine how we got here…

Rainy days and Postal employees do not mix, our federal workers scurry like crabs in bad weather, hiding behind doors and windows, neglecting their duties……..

Exiting a small town Post Office this summer, I was accosted by short, owlish man, files under his arm. Normally moved on by the local constabulary, that day , he found, to his delight, no law enforcement in sight, no Postal workers to complain.

“Hello, sir,” he tipped his flat cap, “You do know about the Anglo-Dutch conspriracy, don’t you?”
Shaking my head dumbly, and casting a wary eye around, I bade him continue.
Thrusting a magazine in my hand he quickly explained, that, the world was about to end, and, it was all part of a conspiracy, the Anglo-Dutch conspiracy..
“But,” he assured me..”Dr La Rouche is fighting back…”
Apparently, La Rouche, who I thought was either dead or in jail, or both, had, during his last stint in stir produce an epic conspiratorial work, reminiscent of the Fuhrer’s in Landsberg, and his subject matter was the Anglo-Dutch, that’s right, Not Jews, blacks, commies or Catholics….

I took a copy of the magazine, leaving the man to stand his guard outside the Post office, I used the magazine to swat flies and thought nothing more of it until our Hank got his way today……

Hank’s monumental effort described in Europe as “An unfortunate victory for Anglo-Saxon consumerism and fiscal irresponsibility” got me thinking…..

I’m Anglo-Dutch, maybe we’ve ruined the world, but I think we’ll get away with it…Hell Hank can blame the French…Is La Rouche a French name????????

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September 26, 2008

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